Updated: Jun 20
Five weeks ago, I had a second major shoulder surgery on my right side. Shortly after, I began getting frustrated with myself for not being able to do things I should be able to do. I began to feel bad about myself and my life because I live alone and had nobody to help me with the day-to-day stuff that I should be able to do on my own.
That’s when the depression started moving in and eventually it took over all of me. I had an “I don’t care,” attitude and so I stayed off all social media, cut myself off from family and the one local friend I have and occasionally do things with.
I stopped taking my medicine because I didn’t care and living in a house without AC for a week, where the low indoor temp for the week was 83 with a high amount of humidity, made it easy to just not care.
When I get this way, I start wondering why my self-esteem is so high. I come up with all kinds of reasons that my self-esteem should be in the toilet, and that’s where it ends up.
I noticed that in the past 10 days I’ve only spoken with a mentor in Chicago. and the guys who came to install my new AC.
I’m working hard right now to pull myself out of this funk and I have to keep reminding myself of the good things in my life, and that they are there because I’ve worked hard to get them, and I am good enough.
In July I’m doing a photo shoot with an amazing local photographer, I’m speaking at Autism Parenting Magazine’s Virtual Summit in September, Autism Parenting Magazine is doing an article on me for their magazine, and I’m starting a bi-weekly web TV show on the Autism Broadcast Network, that a great colleague and friend helps run.
No matter how bad it gets, you have to look towards the good things, otherwise you’ll drown in your depression.
Are you in a depressive funk? Do you go through them in your lives? Tell us about it and together we can heal.
Wish me luck that I can finish the last of the climb and get completely out.
Has depression taken over your life? There are people to talk to before it becomes too late.