• J.R. Reed

7 Things I Wish I Could Tell My Guy Friends


The down side of being autistic is not a lot of friends...

There are things we wish we could tell our guy friends and things we try to tell our guy friends, but they just don’t get it and so, we waste our time.


Here is a very short list of seven things I wish I could tell my guy friends if, in fact, I had seven guy friends to tell.


1. After I bare my soul and share my feelings with you, there are much, much better answers than, “Wow, dude. That sucks.” At least use one that pretends you listened.


2. I have feelings and I hurt. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but that stuff still hurts like hell! And the names still hurt me as well. And when I feel like I’m in pain, a different part of me takes over. Not quite the Hulk, but in the same neighborhood.


3. A 12-Pack will fix many things, but not everything. We can fix girl problems within the confines of a 12 pack and a pizza or chili dogs, but it takes a bit more time and effort to fix the things that tend to run deeper.


4. You Could Better Understand my Autism. In theory, one could try and to read up on autism. Learning things like no two people have the same symptoms. So, no one is autistic the way your cousin Larry was back in high school. Quit trying to compare.

I have some quirky behavior. I do NOT do some ”weird shit.” Again, you could know that if you tried to understand me rather than simply tolerate me.


5. Yes, I’m almost 54 and still read comic books. You gotta problem with that?

So I enjoy a comic book, or sixteen, a week. There is some great writing and some great artwork out there today in the mainstream (DC & MARVEL) as well as indies. Comic book writing, as a whole, does NOT get the credit it deserves.


6. “It’s not that I don’t want to learn to do things, I’m afraid of failure as I learn.” That has to be one of the dumbest quotes if all tine and I said it! Fear of failure is a huge thing with me and something I’ve wrestled with for years.


You can’t succeed without failure and you can’t fail if you’ve given up on trying. It seems like a solid theory until you realize that without trying and failing, we wouldn’t have creations that we have today.


7. I just want a friend who will be there for me. Girl. Guy. It doesn’t matter to me as long as they’re true friends. I do have a couple, which is fine with me, because Aspies (those with Asperger’s Syndrome, a form of autism) aren’t known for their/our social skills.

I just want someone who will be there through my weird shit (we each have our own version) and who will let me be there through their rough times.


But the reality is that I don’t have those people in my life who I feel really comfortable sharing these things with. Guess more than seven people will see it now.


It feels good knowing that the friends you do have are real and that they’re not they’re just because you’re nearing mid 50’s, in enjoy their friendship and I don’t need a lot of friends.

Those are my seven things. What seven things would you say to your friends?

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