Sometimes it takes an autistic mind to notice these things.
There isn’t a true nerd among U.S. Governors
If there was, comic book shops would be on the list of essential businesses to stay open. Think about it, the people who frequent such business are often autistic (like me) or simply don’t enjoy being among a group of people, so we tend to social distance ourselves every day. There would be nothing to lose.
People hoard weird things
Toilet paper and yeast. Those were among the first things people stocked up on, besides hand sanitizer and sanitizing wipes. It’s like the zombie apocalypse was upon us and no one thought they were going to ever be able to wipe again. Heck, Shannon even went as far as to order toilet paper from China off Amazon. When her 12 rolls showed up, they were without tubes in the middle and fit nicely inside her small apartment mailbox. Remind me to bring my own roll when I go to her place next time.
I guess people figured that as long as they were going to be cooped up in their house, might as well make bread. According to the CEO of Walmart, with the amount of yeast that went flying off the shelves, people could actually start their own bakeries from home. Although, no one could come buy it because, you know, were all sheltered in place.
You actually have to tell people not to shoot up Lysol
I can’t believe that I have to add this to the list, but considering that last Thursday the President of our great nation, on television no less, suggested that ingesting or injecting Lysol because it “Kills the COVID19 virus on surfaces within a minute,” was something we should look into.
He then, still on TV, asked his lead doctors and the Coronavirus taskforce to look into the possibility of whether or not this would work. I’m no medical expert. I’m just a regular guy who is pretty smart. But even I know that when the label says, “PRECAUTIONARY STATEMENTS: Hazardous to humans and domestic animals,” it means that we shouldn’t be putting this stuff in our bodies. The can also lists a number for a Poison Control Center right on it. That oughta be a huge red flag right there, Mr. President.
As Nancy Reagan said, “Just say no.”
Even though I’m home more often, it isn’t any cleaner than before
You would think it would be, but you would be wrong. It isn’t any messier than before, and it isn’t so bad that I wouldn’t let people in here. I mean, if I wasn’t autistic and didn’t have a thing about being around people, much less letting them into my home in the first place.
In the three years I’ve lived here the only people who have been inside my home are two repairmen, the cable guy to install the TV when I first moved in, a girl I dated for a very short while before she figured out that she wasn’t into people on the spectrum, my daughter (who lived with me for a while) her boyfriend/fiancée , and Shannon. That’s seven people in three years and if I hadn’t needed three of them for something I couldn’t do, I wouldn’t have let them in.
Comic Book Wednesday withdrawal is a real thing
With the company that distributes all comic book brands temporarily shutting down and comic book shops being put on the Do Not Open For Business list, Wednesdays have become tough. I used to look forward to going to the comic book store, grabbing the ones they pulled aside for me and browsing the shelves to see what I may have missed. Now I go online to DC, Marvel or Comixology and try to find an older series that I haven’t read and get my fix that way.
I can get so bored that I will talk to the Pops on my desk
Being a hardcore nerd, and completely proud of it, I have a collection of Funko Pops in my home office, including five Deadpool (among them Bob Ross Deadpool and Deadpool on a Unicorn). Next to my Bluetooth speaker stands Jerry Garcia and below my monitor I have six of my favorites that I look at and occasionally talk to.
From left to right they are Captain Marvel (which stands right next to a picture of my girlfriend, who is also a marvel for putting up with me), Tyrian Lannister (Game of Thrones, because I too, “drink and know things.”), Albert Einstein, Klaus and Number Five (Umbrella Academy) and Mitch from Modern Family.
You'll notice the missing photo of my girlfriend in the picture at the top of the page. She prefers to keep her secret identity.
Shannon’s local Chinese drive-thru is giving away a roll of toilet paper with your order
Seriously. I found this out at 9:30 last night as I went to pick up something for us to eat. I wonder how many people have taken them up on their offer and how many rolls they go through in a day.
People are either hyper-vigilant or really don’t care
Venture outside your door and you’ll see what I mean. Either people are wearing gloves and a facemask and are keeping their distance from everyone or they’re not wearing anything and will walk right up on you in a grocery store aisle. It seems to be all or nothing with most people.
Online D & D may be better than live D & D
My Friday night game in the back of the local comic book store, which I dubbed Nerd Game Night, has now moved to on online format on a platform called Discord. Our gamemaster (A.K.A. Chief Nerd) can put up pictures of the area we’re in and we can all talk to each other as we plan our strategy and take our turns. It also means we can drink, sit around in our underwear and eat whatever we want without the worry of making a mess in the store.
In case you were wondering (and you probably weren’t) my character is a High Elf Rogue named Tyrian who is a complete badass and who just last week stealthily slaughtered six goblin guards without the other goblins ever noticing. Shannon’s character is a High Elf Cleric named Vivienne who worships a chaotic god of lust and revenge. For someone who is so quiet in the real world, having a character like that is pretty funny.
The Mayor of Las Vegas is wack.
I caught her act on CNN last week when she was being interviewed by Anderson Cooper. Among the more memorable things she said was, Vegas should reopen, but she didn’t know how exactly, since she’s not a casino owner. She also claimed that Vegas had previously gone through bouts of the Ebola and West Nile viruses, and that she believes she may have had COVID19 back in January. What makes that statement so amazing is that the first known US case was in February. Congrats on being Patient Zero, Mayor Goldman!
Mayor Goodman also offered the city of Las Vegas up as a “controlled group.” I think she meant, “control group.” You see, Your Honor, a “controlled group” is defined as, “any two or more corporations connected through stock ownership.”
With no new TV being made people are turning to the things I used to watch and are binging them
Among the hottest shows running on the big three streaming services are shows like Friends, The Office, Parks and Recreation, Seinfeld, 30 Rock, Cheers and one Shannon is re-binging for the third time, Downton Abbey.
My personal favorite, and one that I am re-binging after just binging (because it never gets old), is Schitt’s Creek. The original series Umbrella Academy (Netflix) and Fleabag (Amazon Prime) can’t get here soon enough for me!
Livestreaming concerts on the internet is awesome
So far, I’ve seen Dave Matthews Band, Alice Merton and earlier today The Head & The Heart. There are so many places to livestream both real time and past concerts, that if you’re into music, it’s a great way to get your fix.
Amazon’s idea of a “necessary item” is vastly different than mine
After ordering my Tyrian Lannister Funko Pop over three weeks ago, I just got it this morning, even though it was a Prime item. Amazon says they’re prioritizing what they send out so that the most necessary items go out first. I get that and I can respect that, but Tyrian completed the collection on my desk and brought a sense of much needed calm into my life. To me it was kind of necessary.
I totally am down with prioritizing, but three weeks? Oh well. At least it arrived in one piece.
What have you learned these past six or seven weeks? Something funny? Something serious? Probably something way more profound than the things I have listed here. Let us know by leaving a comment below. We would love to hear from you!