The last two weeks have been less than stellar. And by “less than stellar,” I mean they sucked. Whatever I worked on seemed to be wrong, my self-esteem was in the toilet and life, in general, wasn’t a whole lot of fun.

But on the bright side, I didn’t have any suspicious packages mailed to me this week. Of course, there were also no regular looking packages either. Not getting packages is the upside to not being famous.

My point with the whole suspicious package thing is even though I know there’s a brighter side out there, sometimes I just can’t see it, or sense it in any way. I know it’s there, but there are times it simply takes a while to find the brighter side.

But we can and will eventually find the brighter side!

To answer the question at the top of the page, is there a way to get this monkey off our back once and for all? Sadly no. Depression and anxiety are things that we will always have to live with to some degree, but we can find ways to make it easier. We can come up with ways to get the depression gone in a few days rather than a few weeks or months.

“J.R.,” you say. “It sounds like you’re going from the bright side to sating anxiety and depression are always nearby.”

Yes, I did say that, but what I hadn’t yet gotten to, is the fact that we can learn to control the depression and anxiety with some coping mechanisms.

Just as each person on the spectrum is unique, each of us has our unique ways of settling down and letting go. What follows are several ideas for getting rid of stress, depression and anxiety quickly, before you fall down the proverbial rabbit hole.

Go outside and do something. This is one I struggle with in a big way. I tend to plant myself at my desk day after day. Then depression sets in and I say I’m going to leave the house, but I don’t.

When I do make myself get outside to either walk, sit out on the patio and read or just relax, I feel better. If I know I feel better when I go do things, why do I sit at my desk, hyperfocusing and not going outside?

FYI, going out to the front yard in pajama pants isn’t going outside.


Find your thing that clears (or helps clear) your mind. For some it’s meditation, others yoga or exercise. Whatever it is for you, start doing it or if you are doing it, do it more!

I try to meditate, but its still a work in progress. One thing I like to do is sit in my beach themed reading area in my office, light a couple sticks of incense and either sit with my eyes closed and just relax or I nerd out and read comic books. Looking over, I see I have a decent sized reading stack piling up.

The idea is to get your mind off the depression or the anxiety that’s weighing on you and get it onto something fun or onto nothing at all. If you’re not thinking/obsessing over it, it can’t bother you too bad.


Believe in yourself. This is the absolute hardest one for me. My self-esteem is naturally down. It has been my whole life and though I hate it, I deal with it. I’ve actually gone as far as working with a man who has overcome way more than I ever had to and has soared.

If this is something you struggle with, follow the link to check out more on Brian.


The final tip I have is simple. Find a person or two that you completely trust and let them know what they need to look out for. You may think that you’re baring all your weaknesses, but if this person has your best interest in mind, they’ll see it as strength and not weakness.

How do you deal with depression, anxiety or any of your other traits? What’s worked and what hasn’t? Let us know.


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An Asperger’s Guide To Dating Neurotypicals is out and hit #23 on the Amazon Hot New Dating Releases Chart. You can find it on Amazon and Kindle or get an autographed copy for the same price at the J.R. Reed Author website.

Before I go, I belong to a closed Facebook group, Aspergers Life Support, run by some terrific people. There’s a link on the right or you can click on the words in purple. If you have Aspergers or are a loving NT of an Aspie, I definitely suggest asking to join the group. They’re great people and have helped me on many occasions.


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